Its not easy

Hmmmm… this feel like a depressing post but I feel like I need to vent. So I have two brothers. Enrique and Cristian, I love them so much its crazy and I am the middle child. When I was born I had hip dislocation which I don’t know why but I had a lot of surgerys and it was hard on my parents. My younger brother Cristian who I refer to as ” My baby”, he is Autistic . When he was about 6 he didn’t know how to express his feelings and I belive he didn’t like us haha! He use to throw his toy trucks at us and it hurt!! My older brother Enrique is Epileptic and he gets seizures. Sadly, today my older brother had another seizure. The first time I was about 11 and it happened on christmas eve so I still remember ha ! It was terrifying and now I’m 17 and everytime he gets one I have to be the one who always calls the ambulance and I have to be the ” Strong one”. I say this because I can’t cry or show any emotion because, well I do it for Momma bears sake ! Even if it means I gotta suck it up ! Its hard because I am very overprotective with BOTH of them and its just something that will never become easy but I know how to handle it. No one will ever understand how much my brothers mean to me and they are amazing! I sometimes hear people saying that I am strong at a young age and its something they respect about me but all I say is “I’m use to it”. Not saying they are bad or anything NO, its that I know what to expect. Its hard but everything will get better over time. I’m not complaining or anything because they are my brothers after all and I have to deal with them haha!

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2 thoughts on “Its not easy

  1. Amazing. Simply amazing. You are amazingly aware of your life, and are fortunate to love your siblings. I wish you didn’t have to be the “strong one” all the time. I pray that you can find someone else who can be the “strong one” for you. Don’t rush it, but someday you will find it. God can be it….but there is someone here on earth that you can hug and can hold you, and let you cry and wipe your tears. You are still “young”, though you are older than most. Blessings…

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