Lila and Pumpkin 

Ya’ll don’t understand how much I adore my cats. Lila is the black and white one, we got her about 4 years ago. Pumpkin is the ginger one who we got 9 months ago. Lila was given to us by my bestfriend at the time and we rescued pumpkin at 2 weeks old. I’ve had pets before, turtles, bunnies, fishes and I’ve loved them all. My cats have become an essential part of my family tree.ever since we got Lila, my little brother who is autistic, was able to open up more and his speech improved. My mom and I can be very religious and superstition at times and when my dad died, my older brother took it the hardest. When my older brother would wake up, pumpkins would be laying beside him on his pillow. She did this for the first 2 weeks after his death. Lila would constantly sleep with my little brother by his feet and pumpkin would also join him by sleeping on his pillow as well. My mom had me. I like to talk about my cats because they mean so much to me and my family. They’re also super cute to look at, HOW CAN YOU NOT THINK THEY’RE CUTE AF!! 

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I didn’t think that I would ever have to deal with a relative dying. My fathers death came unexpectedly. Its been 8 months and i still remember being told the news as if it was yesterday. Ever since I went off to college, our relationship distancing. We rarely talked an when he called, I would ignore it. But the times we did, we would spend hours talking and we would enjoy each other company. I took him for granted. I look for him when I need someone to talk to and i miss going out with him. He wasn’t around most of the time and we would go months without hearing from him, but we always knew that he could call at any point. Till this day, no one in my family can believe it . He didn’t have a painful death. The aneurysm in his brain burst and he fell asleep. He was found lying on the beach. The very same beach that he would take us to in the summer. I miss my dad, my family is broken and I’m not ashamed to say that. I recently discovered that my brother and I are constantly living in fear that my mom could pass away or y brothers could or I could. It’s something that my mother caught on to and when she brought it up to me, I couldn’t resist but cry and agree with her. Sadly, this has made me afraid that something might happen. I love my family and i’m thankful for them. I miss my dad, we all do. He was the family mediator and now we’re missing a piece. I love him and I need my dad.

Where to begin..

Welcome friends, I’m not sure where to start. Remember my boyfriend, the one I was gushing over in my first couple of posts? WELL, once we were off to college, he told me exactly what he wanted. You can assume that we were NOT o the same page, AT ALL. We stayed talking all of freshman year and the beginning of sophomore year. He ends up having sex with some girl spring semester and shit broke my heart. None less, I loved J and chose to still talk and be with him and he did too. He tried to tell me time and time again, that he was trying to get me to hate him so I’d break up with him. We still talked and i saw him summer 16′. Coming to last semester, we STILL kept talking and was shitting on my life to just find out that he kept fucking (sorry) other girls the WHOLE time. I still stayed. I’m dumb. I love the kid but right now, we are not on speaking terms. I can’t help but want to talk to him because i though he was my “person” (reference to Grey’s Anatomy”. That consumed my life andI let it affect my grades. It’s something I’m not proud of but It happened and I’m trying to pick myself back up. I relied on someone for so long and it kills me to even say that. I like to say that I’m independent but, my high school sweetheart was my best friend. Sorry to drop the bomb but shit happens and ya’ll are strangers who can tell me shit up front.

This is me.

Hi there, My name is Cat. Haven’t been here since the end of my sophomore year to the beginning of my junior year in high school . I’m currently a sophomore in college and its stressful af. I’m turning 21 in a month and I’m not gonna lie, I’m excited. So much has happened in the last 4 years. I think its time  I come back and let ya’ll know whats been up with me.

Film making !

SO! I happen to be making a film. YES! A film indeed. It is called Los Fuertes.  In made this film through the help of Reel Works. A non- profit organization that helps in risk youth let their voices be heard. I had the opportunity to be one of the lucky 15 people to join the program out of 80 applications that were sent in. It has been an amazing, difficult STRESSFUL and just plain great experience. I got to make a film on what I felt I needed and wanted to share with the world. Also I got to learn how to shoot and get great footage. I got to learn how to shoot different angle types such as close, wide, medium shots. All that make a good documentary.

  The worst part for me about doing this documentary process was the editing stage. OH MY GAWD!! I have never been so stressed before in my life! It was more stressful then school. The thing with editing is it can either be really fun or plain disgusting as I call it. The thing with the footage that I had was that when it came to editing I was lost as a puppy. I felt that everything was out of place. It all comes down to how well you organize all the footage you have and from the organization comes in handy. You can put everything into separate acts, cut things down, do narration, put a shit load of b-roll footage. AHHHH

   My film is a very personal film to me. It is about my family. Mom, younger and older brother. How my little brother is autistic and my Older brother is Gay and Epileptic and how my mom had to go through life knowing this and who it impacted her. Every time I would interview my mom about my older and how she felt when he told her that he was gay, she would burst into tears. It made me cry to see her like that even though he came out to her like 6 years ago. With my little brother it was more of a family topic and what we went through. And the charator that waas in literally every scene was my cat Lila. You would either hear her bell or see her in any scene LOL. I loved making my documentary . Here is the trailer.

Junior Year.

So we just entered school on the 9th and I was so excited, it was creepy. My classes aren’t what I hoped they would be, but I have to suck it up and tru to do my best regardless of what goes on. I really hoped to have some classes with Isaiah (my boyfriend), Senia, Celeste and Piolo. But NO! I have no classes with Isaiah, piolo or celeste only Senia. This sucks man! It’s cool though, I’ll live. My first period class is chemistry and -.- it alright but my teacher isn’t all that bad. I also have playwriting which is basically theater also english and geometry. Idunno why some kids have trig when they were suppose to be in geometry but no! I feel HURT! I also have U.S history with Ms. Cruz and OMG! She is so adorable and sweet I love her and her class already!!! Also gym but i don’t know why i don’t really enjoy gym this year.Also I’m going to miss my 10th grade teachers Ms. Schench, Ms.Dunzelman and Mr. Greenblat:( Es okey though because they taught me well.!!! Let’s hope thia year tuens out alright!! but I’m not to happy with it. Junior year scares me because next year is senior year and then I’m off to college. Not scary at all. LIESSSSSS!

SUMMER.

You know whats the best part about summer for a teenager is? NO SCHOOL ! It honestly feels like a relaxing moment, but then you realize that in a couple of week you go back to the same routine for about 8 or 9 months. Its not a pleasant thought, although school isn’t very fascinating, the great apart about it is that we get to see our close friends and joke around. In september I’m going to be a JUNIOR!  It actually scares me because, it means that I am not to far away from graduating and heading off to DUN DUN DUNNNN collage! Besides that, this summer has not gone as planned and that makes me upset!. Its because i planned to go out with my peeps and go out with my boyfriend, but life said NO! Its not all that bad. NO SUMMER SCHOOL THIS YEAR. I honestly feel like i did great towards the end of the year with my regents, my scores for global studies I believe was a 76 & for Living environment was a 73, or was it backwards o.o. Thanks to my amazing Living Environment teacher Ms.Schenck who, because of her and her fun and cool teaching but sometimes strict and hard labs to do, her help came in handy and i got a score that i was proud of because I know that I remembered things and I did well on my own.  Also, to my global II teacher Mr. Mears who everyone loved dearly and god bless him because , to be honest i loved his class! It was fun and global is just an interesting subject. ANYWAYS, I got a cat :D.

Her name is Lila ( Lie-la ) and she is my BABY! I find it cute because she’s a cat and I am sometimes called cat,but yeah!Lila and I

It was my little brothers birthday not to long ago and he’s 14. I CAN’T WIHT LIFE! He’s my baby and he’s going to high school and :(.Cristian's Bithday

Got to spend some time with Poppa bear, Henry and Cristian playing billiards together and then watching the Wolverine ;).

Billiards with the fam. Cristian on the top left corner , Poppa bear on the top right corner, I on the bottom left corner and Henry on the bottom right corner

Bonding time with henry 😀

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Went to my friend Karen's sweet 16 with Isaiah :)

Went to a friend’s sweet 16 with Isaiah 🙂